Hey all, long time no post! Here or anywhere else on the internet. I needed some quiet time to myself, after getting so sick from overwork and not knowing how to truly switch off and recover properly. It means I haven’t been drawing much at all the past year… I’ve been learning to look after myself instead. It’s a little sad that the two weren’t syncing at all together, but it seems that too much of my self-worth was invested in whether I succeeded at jobs or personal projects, or generally made other people happy with my art. I didn’t want to let anyone down, and I had so many different projects and plans, but the fear of failing at everything — at my entire life — dominated every waking moment so much, that it has made me repeatedly let people down anyway, despite the good intentions. Intentions that nobody truly benefits from unless I actually manage to make the gifts to give them at all. I felt I was becoming nothing but talk and disappointment more and more as time went on, as I let these fears destroy all motivation.
The equinox has passed, and Fall is officially in the air, even though in Texas you can’t really tell just by looking out the window. It’s mostly just shorter days, and am I getting blasted by furnace-air as I open my car door? Y/N, and if No you know the season has changed at long last. It was strange for the summer to sort of just disappear with everything going on, but to be quite honest, I’m not always the type to get all that much done outside during the scorching months anyway. Bring on the autumn leaves and cooler weather.
I should have started this blog a long time ago.
I mean, I did. Multiple times. I’ve set up maybe six or seven blog sites over the years, fiddling around amateurishly with layouts and HTML and CSS, but I don’t think they ever progressed further than one or two posts each time. I just didn’t know what to say, or if it was even important enough for saying. A turning point came when I joined Instagram in 2015, and met a ton of lovely friends on there. What started as simply a fun place to share art and meet other artists, eventually became that blog-like outlet that I had been craving, especially after the Stories feature was added. For those who don’t know, Stories are a Snapchat clone. And let me tell you, they are like crack. Heck, all of Instagram, and pretty much the entirety of social media is too. Except it’s all legal, and ‘free’, and all your friends are doing it alongside you. And I think in some way, large or small, individually or as a society, it messes all of us up. But that’s for another post.